Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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