So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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