i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
