Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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