I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
