Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
