bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
its liver damage thursday
Randomize