chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
