oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my shit smells like andre
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
