Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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