just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
