I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
