new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
