wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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