That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
