hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
