I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The feeling are messing with the penis
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
