made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
