there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
