I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
