He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
