i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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