the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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