Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Randomize