I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
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