I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
they're like a gay fantastic four
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
