physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
