i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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