is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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