if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
