Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
