Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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