We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
