I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
