i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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