the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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