Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
