I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
