I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
two words...techno handjob
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
