two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
