His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
