is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
