you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
