Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
