I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I looked at my own cervix.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
