bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize