so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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