I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
