Me too!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize