literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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