Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
