I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
