Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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