I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
