I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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