Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
