Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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