i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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