I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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