Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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